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Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 10:53 pm (no subject)
I've started a new journal.

I feel this one is just dead. Well maybe not dead, but I went so long without writing in it.

uhhhhh now i have two journals.

JeyPeg.
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Mar. 17th, 2008 @ 05:28 pm Time Arts Can Suck My Anus
My project did not go over well in my class. No one's did really. They were all too "safe." But only because this one girl walked down the street naked.

And some of the others were really pretty lame.

But I don't think mine was as lame. It did cross the boundary of bringing private into a public. I put my dirty underwear on display in a department store.....

Oh well, fuck this class.

I'm going to go check out a place in SE.

Then I'm going to get drunk.

Happy St. Patties.
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Mar. 15th, 2008 @ 08:48 pm Performing
I'm taking this class in performance art. It's not really a performance art class per say, it's actually time arts. Other time art classes are doing like animations and stuff, but I got stuck with the teacher who is into performance art, which is also time art.

So for this week I had to do a piece on public and private spaces, or actions, or objects. (for example someone picking their nose in public, or Vito Acconci's piece where he masturbated under the gallery floor. The piece had to do with how people feel about public space vs private space. Or personal objects in a public idea.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO this was totally hard. I am not a performance artist, and I didn't want to pee in anyones mouth or run naked through pioneer square. I was pretty scrapped for ideas.

What I ended up doing was I went into JC Penny's and stripped down a mannequin in a open public area, and slipped my dirty underwear onto it. Then I took a picture because we have to document it for class. It was so weird, stalking out waiting for a time when no one was there. I was such a mall creep, like one of those guys you see fondling a bust. But I didn't chicken out. I really thought I would.

Now I have to figure out a good way to arrange it.

( Documentation )
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Mar. 14th, 2008 @ 09:52 pm (no subject)
I always thought cool things would happen at an art school. I guess I was waiting for a movement.But there is nothing going on. There are events, but they don't mean anything. It's uninspired no matter how fun they are. I wish I knew what the fuck I was doing.

Why is there no market for drug addict painters? Where have the factory days gone? Where is the punk attitude? And most importantly, where are the drugs?

Should I buy a car, or should I move to Portland?
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Feb. 19th, 2008 @ 10:56 pm (no subject)
I have 10 days to find a place to live.

Shouldn't be too hard. I just hope I know what I'm getting myself into...again.

But I have a job that can make money.

I go to school.

No matter what my commute is, how could it be worse? I already take 2 buses everywhere.

And if I can get a house I'll have a studio.

But Adam and I will never see each other because he will live here, and I will live in NE or wherever. Come to think of it, he has to have a new place to live in 10 days too. I don't know if he has a place set up.

No meat today.
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Feb. 12th, 2008 @ 07:42 pm (no subject)
I woke up an hour early to do my 5 drawings for my class. They were shitttty. Or so I thought until I got to class and saw shittier ones.

I didn't think it was possible to put in less effort than I did....We were supposed to take half an hour on each drawing.

Seriously, pussy school. We should not be able to get away with this shit in college. We should have all failed. But we probably all got A's.
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Feb. 11th, 2008 @ 07:33 pm (no subject)
We have "lunchtime performances" sometimes. It's pretty cool because the players get $20 bucks per person, but most of them are sooooooo lame. Today some guy from Chicago played. He was really good. His style reminded me of whetus, but it was just him and with a political theme. I bought a CD for his song about fucking the presidents daughter.

Studied flux art. (like yoko)
Weird stuff. I don't think most of them took themselves seriously. It has to do with directions and everyday stuff re contextualized.

I have a lot of homework to do.

A trimet bus killed someone today. I'm pretty sure it was a 52.

I feel a little better. I guess.
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Feb. 10th, 2008 @ 11:16 pm (no subject)
I feel a little overwhelmed. Overworked.

I hate that, that boy has so much control over my emotional state. I wish we could talk about things. He won't tell me what's wrong, he just clams up tighter than water seal on a ship.

This morning he said he would make me pancakes, but he didn't. :(

I am really feeling like shit right now.
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Jan. 29th, 2008 @ 01:45 am Time is weird.
I'm 20 now.

I had a pretty good birthday.
I woke up in bed with my naked lover.
Saw some free music at the Crystal, also celebrating a birthday (94th)
Ate some cake

And Adam is going to make a psychedelic shag rug with me, 30x36.

Better than my last birthday, being hung over as hell with no warm body next to me, and working all day.

I'm trying to finish all my recommendation stuff, and putting together portfolios.

I built a snowman today.

I was 30 minutes late to class. Fuck 6 hour classes.
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Jan. 24th, 2008 @ 10:04 pm (no subject)
Things are good.

I applied at two coffee shops today.

The owner said she had over 200 applicants and I was one of 80 that she choose to interview. Jesus Christ. I'm not even sure if I want to work in an industry that competitive. But I do want to work downtown. Actually I really just want to keep working at See's, but I need more than 9 hours a week to live off of. Those fucking liars.

Um, yeah anyways. Things are good.

Class.

Looking at some more houses....

And I <3 Adam even if he is sleepy.

Oh and Nikki and Matt are morons for thinking they should get married at their age. And they are even more ridiculous for trying to argue that it's a stupid idea.
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Jan. 18th, 2008 @ 08:01 pm (no subject)
Adam told me that I guilt trip him all the time.

A few weeks ago he was ordering something off line and he had to look up his address. I told him he should have his address memorized after living someplace for over 5 months and he flipped out. He basically told me not to tell him how to live his life.

He's been taking everything I say the wrong way. I'm a little afraid to say anything to him anymore. He seems to take everything at commandful. And he wont compromise on different ways of doing things.

And what really sucks is that he asks for my opinion all the time on stuff, but what the fuck am I supposed to say if he responds so badly to criticism? Everything I say to him on a serious note he takes wrong.

If he wants me to stay out of his life, I can do that, but I can't be a girlfriend at the same time. I can't kiss him happily knowing he thinks horrible things about the way him and I interact.

I keep thinking maybe he just needs space, but I also think we need to talk about stuff like this, and we don't really, anymore. So if I give him space, all this builds up and time apart makes is dissipate but not disappear. He can act like things are normal, but I can't knowing there is shit between us.
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Jan. 3rd, 2008 @ 12:34 am (no subject)
My boyfriend is a 22 year old male who has gone to college and works a full time job. He does not have health insurance. His wisdom tooth is coming in and fucking up his jaw. He has actually devised a plan for someone to come in and punch him in the jaw while he's at work, to scam the workers comp system.

If we were in Europe he would be able to walk into any clinic, have his tooth removed, given drugs to help him, and probably receive paid recovery time.

As a working artist, the health care thing in our country does worry me. Even as a student I barely have insurance. I can't imagine needing serious medical care.
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Dec. 23rd, 2007 @ 09:40 pm (no subject)
Sometimes I feel like I live the same day over again. The events do not happen in the same order, or at the same time, they are not the same conversations, or even the same occurances and yet, everything is the same.
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Dec. 17th, 2007 @ 03:45 pm (no subject)
PNCA is so soft....

I mean, I know it's an art school, but come on...we need disipline as students, AND artists.

After watching the Senior presentations, I felt a little pathetic about our school. Most of them were shitty ideas, presented by mumbling idiots.

And this is the kind of artists PNCA is supposed to make us into?
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Dec. 13th, 2007 @ 10:59 pm Working
I got offered a permanent place at See's. I'm gonna take it. While it's kind of a cold ridgid bitch job, it's better than most other jobs I could find. It's not boring...yet....and I like some of the people I work with. The customers are nice....and I eat a lot of candy.

But mostly they have agreed to let me just work on the weekends for $10 an hour, and thats better than I could find somewhere else.

But goddam. I hate working.
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Nov. 20th, 2007 @ 10:13 pm (no subject)
Moondog ate flour. Gross. He wont stop eating shit off the floor.

I got a free haircut today. By....a...professional!

That was my entire day.
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Nov. 18th, 2007 @ 07:29 pm (no subject)
I've felt like shit the last few days. Everything seems wrong, subtly. And boring. I'm so bored of my school. I've been hanging out there and taking classes for three years. Actually going there is not much different, except that I'm there everyday. And I hate almost everyone I've met there. Okay, well hate is kinda strong, but they aren't my type of people.

At least I'll start working soon. That'll make things better and worse. I do feel like I've taken a step backwards by living at home. It's so boring here, and I just want a life of my own again. Except that living is so fucking expensive. Living out of this house means working non-stop to pay for a damn apartment.

And Adam. I miss seeing him, and talking to him.

I'm lonely, and bored.

It seems like I haven't had fun in a l o n g time.
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Nov. 8th, 2007 @ 08:37 pm (no subject)
Why did I have to fall in love with a boy without a soul?
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Nov. 4th, 2007 @ 05:25 pm (no subject)
http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2007/10/25/18456040.php 1984

There are some freaky people on the buses. I mean theres always gonna be some total weirdo, but it's the normal everyday commuters that get me. These are the people that don't work till 8 or 9 but have to be at the bus by 7. That means that many of them arn't finished with their morning process. Me, I drink coffee, along with about 6 others. If I could wake us and leisurely drink it at home I would. But who gets up that early? This other lady cakes on foundation. I guess a lot of people put makeup on in public, but this lady has no shame. Putting on lipstick in public and covering up your blotches are different things entirely. She puts liquid foundation all over her face. It's like half a bottle. She ends up looking way too pale.

There is an elderly lady who brushes her hair, every strand, into the exact place she wants it. Then she puts her hood on, puts the strap of her purse over her head, takes her hood off, and brushes every strand back into place. She's already admitting to the futility of this process by having to repeat it. Hair moves, deal. If I were this neurotic, I wouldn't put it right out there on the bus where no one has anything better to do but stare at you.
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Oct. 23rd, 2007 @ 07:46 pm (no subject)
It seems like I should be enjoying all of this so much more. Yet I am bored.
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